Inhailing Deeply

     Well, here it is: my first post in this blog about my life, and the things that a twenty-something male experiences in his daily routine, how he deals with it, the wins-and-ops, and of course the quests for wine, women, and song. To be fair, I don't consider myself to be the "typical" male of my age group. Don't get me wrong, I do the same stuff you'd expect a guy of my age group to do, but I feel like I do things a bit differently. My range of interests are staggering, and my passion for each is just as ferocious. I'm good with my hands, lips, and my brain. Especially the brain. Anyway, moving on.
   
     An important fact about me (which I'm sure will have a huge impact on the topic of most posts I make) is that I have a...unique relationship with women. I'm around women constantly, and I don't mean I see them at the grocery store, I mean I have a ton of female friends who I see almost daily. For some reason, almost every woman I stumble into seems to trust me implicitly from the first few minutes of me meeting them. I've got a swift tongue, a large smile, and a quick whit, which helps me in these instances. But I just recently met a girl who made me forget what the hell I was doing, and that hasn't happened to me in forever. A girl who had me opening my mouth to say something, stifled any sort of words I could have thought of with her gorgeous brown eyes, and left me grinning like and idiot. She's my roommate's best friend from college, and she was in town for a celebration (yeah, which means she's from OUT of town). Well, she stayed with us for a few days, and since night one I wanted to make a move on here, but the timing never lined up very well. Plus, She's my roommates friend. If I was getting the wrong vibes from her, and made a move when she wasn't feeling it, then I've just established and awkward plateau for the rest of her time with us to rest on, which is the opposite of what I wanted to do.

     Another hurdle in this instance was the fact that my female friends (all of my friends are babes, by the way (I don't know how this happened, but it just did)) were always around, and a couple of them crashed overnight in my room, in my bed, with me, on two of those nights. Now, nothing happened with any of them (if I have a friend staying over night, I extend the same opportunity to everyone, not just my gorgeous female friends), but I can only imagine what she must have thought of me then. It's a king sized bed, I mean if I wanted to I can put easily four feet of space between me and anyone in my bed, but obviously if she sees me bringing 8's and 9's up to my room daily, what else is she going to think? Anyway. I finally get the courage to make a move (after some reassuring from my friends), and boy, am I glad I did. Not only was she interested, but she had been since basically the same time I was. It sucks to think we could have been spending those nights together, but neither of us acted on our interest. I'm not complaining, because the one night we did get is going to keep me happy for months, I'm sure. This girl is...everything. She's the whole package: Hilarious, intelligent, a total sweetheart, caring, and to top all of that off, she's breath-takingly beautiful. She's a 10, easily, and her appearance is only the cherry on top of all her other amazing qualities. Well, we danced, kissed, cuddled, and I couldn't have asked for anything more than that. We talked for a while earlier and she continually made me feel like...well, that's just it, I can't even put into words. I understand this all sounds silly, and I'm aware that I have a ridiculous school boy crush in this girl, but if you knew her, you would to. She said some of the sweetest and most meaningful things to me that I've ever heard, and she's got my head spinning. The shitty part of this story is that she lives about seven hours away. Taking this girl out is obviously not practical, and that really sucks. The only reason I can't see her is because of the distance, and that's the worst part about all of it. Losing the chance to possibly discover something great, simply and only because of physical space. I honestly have no idea how to progress at this point, as far as do I keep talking to her? Is it right to be here reminding her that I'm still around? I feel like that's selfish, but maybe it's selfish not to, as well. It's certainly not good to be hung up on the impossible, but I also feel like I'm blowing this out of proportion: We spent a weekend together, had some laughs, exchanged some kisses, and shared a little bit of each other, Isn't that enough? Should it be confined to a weekend and simply categorized as a series of great memories and dropped? Maybe the main force behind the struggle is because I've never been so instantly connected to a woman so...perfect before. I do not connect with women easily on a romantic level, as I am always guarded, and I certainly never open up to them this quickly. I'm guessing that's it. The first person to come around in years that I feel the automatic trust for and she's so far out of reach that I may as well live in another country. God. I am not this guy. I am never this guy, so conflicted and scatterbrained about a girl. What can I say, I feel like she's worth the task of putting my brain back together manually, piece-by-piece like some sort of model kit. All I know for sure that I can do is just continue to be myself and talk with her as much as she wants to. I always forget that these situations sort themselves out on their own, and that there are many right and wrong answers to this problem. Anyway, looks like I've stated a novel here. I suppose I'm officially an author. Good for me.

Signing out,
Frank D. Orren.