It's Been A While.

So, it's been a while. This will probably be along post, so bare with me here.

     Let me start off with some important updates. I ended up starting up another fling with Sam. Sexual tension got the better of us, and on top of this, Sam has the innate ability to convince me that she'll be fine with whatever happens with us, even if it's never more than physical with us. I should have known better, but she can be very convincing, especially when I'm sexually starved and otherwise devoid of any kind of substantial physical contact. Well, I sensed she was getting deep in it, and I wasn't. I ended things, and she's in the worst shape I've seen her in. This the only time in our odd history that she's needed space from me. I can't begin to convey how terrible I feel about all of this, and that I knew in the back of my mind that these things would not end well. I'm not sure how I let myself get into this situation again, and now that I've really hurt her, I hate myself for it. This is definitely my fault, but at the same time, I wish she hand't tried so hard to get me back into bed with her. I accept full responsibility for this, but then again, it does take two to tango. And we tango'd hard.

     In other news, I feel like all eyes are on me lately, and I'm not digging it at all. By this I mean too many of my chick friends have made passes at me now, and it's kind of a drag. IT wouldn't be if these ladies in question had been single for a while, but the case is they're both recently single (one like a week ago, and she also lives with her ex), and their exes are still around. One of the exes in question sort of happens to be one of my best friends. And of course these two instances I'm about to relate to you happened in two consecutive days, because why would there be any time between these things. Okay, so the first instance happened on Friday with a friend of mine I've mentioned before, but I can't remember what the hell code name I've given her, so we'll just call her Alice. She came home from work early to find her boyfriend naked, with another girl in the house. Details are hazy because obviously Alice was in such shock, but that makes sense. We're not sure anymore that he actually did anything, and that's only because this guy is so stupid that I could totally see he being an idiot enough to get himself into this kind of situation without actually banging the strange girl in his house, or even planning or wanting to bang this girl. That aside, the point is that Alice is now single. Fast-forward to Friday, and that will take you to Alice and I sitting on my back steps, more than a little drunk. Some drunk girls walk by, and of course Alice starts chatting them up and discovers that it's one of their birthdays. She keeps asking the birthday girl if she wants a birthday kiss from me, who let me remind is sitting there, minding my own business and definitely not offering anyone kisses. I tell them to ignore Alice and to go have fun, which they do, and Alice starts saying that if I'd given her time, that I could have kissed that girl. I really didn't care to, smooch this random girl anyway, so I explained this to her. She gives me a look and says "well, what if I want a kiss." I take a shot, look at her and say "then maybe you should go get one." She looks pretty pissed, but I think this is hilarious. I know what she was getting at because I'm not stupid, so I say "Oh, you meant from me."

      One thing you need to know about her is that she's insanely pretty, and takes full advantage of it. I'm pretty sure I'm the one guy she's been friends with who hasn't actively tried to get into her pants since day one of knowing her. She told me a few years back that if she wanted to, she'd have me wrapped abound her finger. I think this is also hilarious, because it is. Especially with that in mind, I've always brushed off any flirting she did with me, especially any time she ever said to me "Oh, if I was ever single, I'd make you the happiest man alive." Yeah, maybe it's silly for me to still hold onto what she said about having me wrapped around her finger, but I don't forget things like that. I was really pissed when she said that, and now if she actually ever does have feelings for me or wants to hook up, well too bad, because you said a really bitchy thing to me and you've ruined it for yourself. I've told her this but that doesn't seem to stop her attempts, but I haven't cracked yet, and I'm not going to. So, at this moment on my back steps. I say, " Then why don't you come on down here and get one." She leans in, slowly, mouth slightly open, eye contact made fully as she lowers her face and lips towards mine. Our noses touch, our lips brush, but I stay absolutely still and don't follow up with the 10% required it'd have taken to complete the kiss. She hovers there for about three long, awkward seconds, but then stands up looking more pissed, and simply says "fuck you, Frank." I tell her that if she really wanted a kiss, she'd have gotten it. She tells me I've "lost my chance," to which I say.."uh-huh." She continues to be all over me for the rest of the night, and at one point, I steal a kiss just to see what she does. To which she just says "I can't believe you just did that." I'm laughing now, because...well, I just am. I think more or less this has began to become a game of sorts with us, but I'm not sure anymore. I'm not gonna fall for her, but hell, if I could be making out with a gorgeous girl, I should be capitalizing on that, right? I'm pretty sure she's going to end up taking back her moron boyfriend, so my window of opportunity is basically closed. It's definitely no big deal, it's not like I haven't made out with her a bunch in the past or seen her naked already. Story two will continue on the next post, because this is way too long It took place last night/this morning, at a wedding.